Birthday Reflections

As I sit here this morning in my morning routine (journaling and meditating), I am reflecting on my granddaughter’s birthday party that we threw last weekend.

Sometimes we just move through life without thinking, but part of my purpose now is to slow down, notice what’s really happening, and grow through it instead of reacting the same old way.

These three challenging people and situations come up again and again for me to learn and grow through.

My Daughter

In these situations, my daughter and I often have conflict. I want to do something or help in some way, and when she is tired, she snaps at me—but if anyone else does the same thing, she just moves on. There have been plenty of hostile moments at past events over the years. With my granddaughter, we need to do better. Or at least I can do better.

She is not a planner, and that for me—as a Virgo rising—is hard. As a Virgo rising, I can’t help but find joy in the details—planning a party isn’t just an event, it’s an art form of lists, timing, and making sure everything quietly runs just right.

She is a Virgo Sun, which means she aspires to be organized and have it all covered, but her Aquarius Rising and her need for freedom and doing it her own way… leave us without the proper birthday candles that I said I could bring but she said she had handled.

My Virgo rising has been something that has caused people to say I am controlling over the years. I just like order, and that is me.

When it came time to sing happy birthday, we did not have the candles we needed. I was quiet and probably had a little “I told you I had candles” look, but we moved on. When I wanted to put hats on the kids, Toria was tired, and I am the one she takes her frustration on. I just walked outside for a minute. Later, when I said she was tired and grouchy, she agreed.

My Husband

Glenn—ah, Glenn. A rebel to the core. He is a 2/4 in Human Design (hermit/opportunist) and he tends to sit in the corner, do his thing, and then, when he has had enough of people, he quietly leaves. Over the course of our 25-year relationship, this has caused plenty of upset. Me seeing him as “antisocial.” For years I did not understand why he didn’t want to chat and be around other people. Thinking he’s rude or selfish.

The weekend he came, he ate, and then I heard later he “snuck out,” not saying hello or goodbye to my daughter and not telling me he was leaving. Ah, the fights we have had about this in the past. The tears, the loneliness for me.

Someone commented to me that we seem “independent of each other”, and yes, we are. I walk the dogs in the morning, he walks them in the afternoon, while I like to do home improvement, he would rather just go to work. Sometimes I wish we did a little more together, but now I do not stress about him not greeting everyone. And I do not make him stay, because then he is like a caged animal and no fun to be around. Knowing he is a “hermit” (the 2 in human design) helps me find peace in that he is just being who he is meant to be.

My Ex-Husband (and His Wife)

My ex-husband and his wife were there too. I have been divorced from my daughter’s dad for 25 years. We do not often end up in the same room. But grandkids will make that happen.

As I was thinking about the party, I reflected on the fact that at events, again not frequent, I do not typically interact with his wife, Julie. Not for any reason I am aware of—I just always feel uncomfortable around her. She is good to my daughter, seems to be a nice person. But she is married to my ex-husband. And try as I may, he still is someone I would rather not be around. But the grandkid.

Since I could not find any real reason or feeling inside as to why I not to speak to Julie, I decided that I just would. We did not sit down and chat, I just said her name and interacted as was normal in a get-ready-and-throw-a-party situation. And when necessary, I responded to my ex-husband’s comments and took his help when he offered to load my car when the party was over.

Doing Better

Looking back, it all feels a little different this time. I only had one small moment with Toria, I spoke to Kenny and Julie without any awkwardness, and I let Glenn do his thing without taking it personally. No fights, no tension, no overthinking. I just showed up and let people be who they are.

I’ve worked on myself for years, but honestly, sitting here reflecting now, I don’t think I realized how much I’ve really grown. Wow 

If you’d like to explore your own chart:
 Find your Sun, Moon, and Rising on Astro-Seek Birth Chart Calculator
 Discover your Human Design type on MyHumanDesign Chart Generator