What to Expect in Mediation -

Mediation is a process where a neutral mediator helps you and the other party work through a dispute and try to reach an agreement, without a judge deciding for you. Here is how it works, step by step, and what you can expect from your mediator at each stage.

Before Your Session

What we will ask of you:

  • A written statement. Before your session, you will be asked to submit a short statement in your own words describing your side of the dispute. This helps the mediator understand the situation before anyone sits down together.

  • A private 15-minute check-in. Just before the group session begins, you will meet with the mediator one-on-one for about 15 minutes. This is your chance to ask questions, raise any concerns (including safety concerns), and make sure you know what to expect, before the other party is in the room.

What your mediator is doing behind the scenes:

  • Reviewing the basics of your case (how long the dispute has been going on, who is involved, and the relationship between the parties)

  • Checking for any conflicts of interest

  • Confirming whether mediation is required by the court or something you have chosen voluntarily

  • Arranging the space and making sure the right tools are available (for writing up any agreement, etc.)

  • Keeping track of any time limits for the session

What this means for you: Come prepared to put your side of the story in writing ahead of time, and use your private 15 minutes with the mediator to raise anything you don't want to say in front of the other party.

Step 1: The Group Introduction

Once your private check-in is done and everyone is together, your mediator will make sure the group feels comfortable. During this part, they will:

  • Explain their role and qualifications to the group

  • Explain how the process works and what will happen during the session

  • Confirm that everyone in the room has the authority to make decisions and reach an agreement

  • Ask if anyone has questions before moving forward

What this means for you: You'll already have raised your individual concerns in your private 15 minutes, this part is about making sure everyone is on the same page before you get into the dispute itself.

Step 2: Sharing Your Side

Each party gets the chance to explain the dispute in their own words. Your mediator will:

  • Listen carefully to each person and ask clarifying questions

  • Make sure no one dominates the conversation

  • Make sure both sides are heard fully before any response or rebuttal

  • Look for points of agreement, as well as the underlying interests behind each position

What this means for you: Your story and the other party's story do not have to match, that is normal. The mediator is not judging who is "right." They are listening for what each of you actually needs.

Step 3: Identifying the Real Issues

Once both sides have been heard, the mediator will help identify what actually needs to be resolved. They will:

  • Create a clear list of the issues on the table, including ones only one party raised

  • Keep issues stated simply and neutrally (for example, "future contact" rather than a loaded description)

  • Help move the conversation from arguing about what happened to figuring out what needs to happen next

What this means for you: The mediator will not suggest their own solutions here. This step is about making sure everything that needs to be addressed is on the table, not solving it yet.

Step 4: Building Solutions

This is where you and the other party start proposing solutions. Your mediator will:

  • Ask each of you for your ideas and suggestions

  • Restate offers in neutral language so they're easier to hear

  • Make sure every issue on the list gets addressed

  • Carry proposals back and forth between parties one at a time, so you're always responding to a clear, single offer

What this means for you: You and the other party are in control here, the mediator will not tell you what the "right" answer is. Their job is to keep the conversation productive and make sure proposals are clear.

Step 5: Reaching an Agreement

If you reach a resolution, your mediator will help make sure it's workable. They will:

  • Help spell out exactly who does what, and by when

  • Ask "what if" questions to pressure-test the agreement before it's final

  • Confirm that everyone is agreeing voluntarily

  • Build in a plan for what happens if part of the agreement doesn't work out (such as returning to mediation)

What this means for you: Nothing is final until you say it is. The mediator's job is to make sure the agreement will actually hold up in practice, not to talk you into anything.

Step 6: Wrapping Up

Whether or not you reach a full agreement, your mediator will:

  • Thank you for participating

  • Make sure everyone understands any next steps, if the agreement is only partial

  • Write down what was agreed to, the mediator records the agreement but does not add their own opinions or terms

  • Read the agreement back out loud so everyone can confirm it before the session ends

What this means for you: You'll leave knowing exactly what was agreed to (if anything) and what happens next.

A note on the mediator's role: throughout every stage, your mediator stays neutral. They won't take sides, offer legal advice, or decide the outcome for you. Their job is to make the process fair, keep things on track, and make sure both parties are heard, the decisions are yours.